You would think that “Self-love” would NOT even be a “thing.”
I mean, why wouldn’t anyone love themself?
Ah, glad you asked. But first let me speak to how our lives can be affected when we don’t love ourselves.
The first thing that happens is that because we don’t love ourselves, we go looking for someone to love us so we can FEEL good about ourselves. This is a problem, because NOBODY can love us enough to make us feel good about ourselves. The tendency is that when we believe we’ve found such a person, we hang onto them for dear life as if they’re our “life-jackets” and without them we would drown. This becomes so suffocating for that person that the tendency is to extricate themsleves from us and run for the hills. I mean, who really wants to be completely responsible for someone else’s happiness when many of us are barely getting by ourselves. You can see where this is going. This kind of relationship in neither healthy nor easily maintainable over a long period. And I’m guessing we all want our relationships to last a very long time, right?
The next thing is this. When we don’t love ourselves, we really cannot adequately love someone else. We may THINK that what we’re doing is loving them, but really what we’re doing is squeezing the very life out the very life out of them because, when we’re not giving from a “full cup” we end up taking – or “giving to get.” And the last time I heard about successful relationships – it’s the “giving” that is important – by both parties – not the constant “taking.”
If you think about it, there are specific arras of ourselves that we’re NOT in love with.
It could be that we think we’re too fat, too ugly, too tall, too short; our voice too high-pitched, too low, too screechy; our hair too straight, too curly, too kinky, too thin, too thick, too short; our feet too big, too small, too ugly – you get the drift.
And these aspects of ourselves play havoc with our self-image – so now our lack of self-love is not affecting our self- image, which then leads to us believing that we are not worthy of good relationships, good things happening to us etc., – so now we have low self-worth. Do you see how dangerous this lack of self-love is?