“Self-control is strength. Right thought is mastery. Calmness is power. ”

~ James Allen

Self-control. Hmmm… – this is one problem I definitely know I struggle with – EVERY day. I’d like to make the excuse that I’m just a very “passionate person” (sounds better – right?) who stands up for my rights and the rights of others; however, if I’m to be completely honest with myself, it all boils down to the fact that I struggle with self-control.

Have you ever noticed what you feel when you see someone “fly off the handle” as it were – “lose it” – another term, or just plain “let it all hang out!” What are your immediate thoughts about that person? Does the thought of “respect” come to mind? What about the thought that this might be someone you want to emulate? I think not. But sadly, many of us struggle in this area, and we validate our actions by giving one excuse after another about how we will NOT be anyone’s doormat for them to walk over! No! We are strong and will not permit anyone to get away with disrespecting us!

In the Bible it states, “A soft answer turn away wrath; and grievous word stirs up anger.” Do you know that this is absolutely true! If we only realized that the Bible teaches us how we are to live successfully, we could surely avoid a lot of pain!

I’ve seen that this work very well (in the few moments of sanity that I had to try it). I may have an argument with someone, and depending on how I respond to whatever “glib” comment he made – it has the ability to turn the conversation completely around – from total warfare, to peace on earth! (violin music). Seriously now. Has this been the experience of anyone else? Or is this just me?

And, have you noticed that it’s those who you really care about, are the ones that has this ability to REALLY push your buttons? I mean, if someone at work says something really nasty to me – I have a better chance of ignoring them than if someone I love says the same thing to me. Because, really – I don’t give a hoot about what most people think; as long as I know it’s not true! However, let my family member say, or do something, that “rubs” me the wrong way! Well, as we say in patois (spoken by us very colorful Jamaicans) “Hell and water-house bruk out!” Now – I don’t expect any of you fine American speaking individuals to understand this – so let me translate. Basically, it means something akin to a world war breaking out between 2 individuals. You will notice also that many of the things Jamaicans say in patois, makes absolutely no sense at all. And – to make it worse- we can’t even translate it word for word into the English language. “But it colorful tho eeee?” Sorry! Couldn’t resist.

Anyway – I’m veering way off subject.

On the other hand, have you been present when “all hell is breaking loose” around someone and yet they manage to remain calm, composed, and unaffected? Whaaat?? But yes, there are actually people out there who can do that, and I marvel at them and pray I grow up to be be just like them someday!”

But again – what are the thoughts that cross your mind when you see that happening? Respect? Hell yeah! – Awe? For sure! These people demand respect and inspire awe in others at their ability to remain calm in the midst of a storm. My goal is to be just like these people – instead of shouting at the top of my lungs like a wild banshee, with flailing hands, and looking like someone just let me loose from the madhouse – as we affectionately call it in Jamaica.

I’m working on it though. Everyday! It’s a struggle. But can you imagine just being able to achieve that type of self-control, that mastery of thought, that calmness of power? A picture of me walking around with this “very serene” look on my face comes to mind – and I find it hilarious! So okay – maybe looking like the master of serenity is not your style (I really don’t think it’s mine either). But – perhaps we could just be calm enough to at least look reasonably sane the next time someone “mash wi corn” – translated – “says or does something that really hurts our feelings.”

Would you care to join me in this journey? I know I’m not alone – so don’t all get “saintly” on me now ?

Until next time. God bless, and take care!