Allow yourself to FEEL your pain.
A break-up or divorce can hit every pain point you never even knew you had. When you’re down to nothing, remember there is only one direction you can go, and that is up! Our first instinct is to deny what we’re experiencing because it’s just too painful to acknowledge. That’s the worst thing you can do; because, wherever you go – there you are! Instead, allow yourself to be vulnerable by acknowledging what you’re feeling. If you feel angry, depressed, or hurt that your spouse left you, or you had to leave because you came to the realization that it just wasn’t going to work – sit with those emotions, feel them and allow them to dissipate in their own time. Don’t rush it. It will happen naturally. Rushing it will prematurely propel you to another place before you’re emotionally ready.
You MUST take the time to GRIEVE.
This is normal. You’ve lost someone you once loved, and perhaps still do. But realize that if this didn’t happen now – it would most likely happen later if no lasting changes were made. Believe me, right now it seems like it’s the end of your world, as you know it. But you will survive, and you can also thrive in the process. If you avoid the grieving process, the hurt will remain and jeopardize your ability to move forward. Try to look at how others have gone through similar situations and have rebounded into living a wonderful, and successful life. Scream if you have to – but let it out! Knowing that you’re not the first this has happened to – and you won’t be the last – will help your perspective.
Now is the time to begin planning your future. Yes, you have a future!
Set up small, manageable steps to get there. Do not look back to the past – except to learn from the lessons it taught you. There will be times when you fall back into the rut of negativity, but don’t stay there. Never give up. And before you know it, you will be enjoying a new lease on life with a new beginning, where EVERYTHING is possible!
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As usual I leave with the reminder to break through the fear threshold and, “FEEL the FEAR and DO it anyway!