Grieving is common to all living things – even animals grieve!
You’ve seen the videos of animals refusing to leave the site of their owner’s final resting place. So what make you think it isn’t normal for you to grieve? No – let me rephrase that. What makes you think it isn’t OK for you to grieve?
And, by the way, grieving is not just for those who’ve passed on. We grieve when we get divorced, separated, or even just break-up from a partner. Individuals go through the same grieving process as if someone died. In fact, someone did; or more specifically, something did. A relationship died.
This was something you thought would last forever. You thought this person would love you forever, be faithful to you forever, be there for you forever; it is the same as if someone died! So please, don’t allow anyone to tell you how you should feel. You need to go THROUGH the process, because if you try to go around or under it, or just back away from it – the feelings you are stifling is just going to pop up at the most in-opportune times. I KNOW you KNOW that!
So, no matter what people tell you – it is okay to grieve. In fact – for you to survive – you MUST grieve. You may wonder how you can survive the death of your loved one, a divorce from the person you have loved and planned to spend the rest of your life with, let go from the job you put so many waking hours into, loss of the money you worked so hard to save to secure a financially secure future for you and your family – but you can, and you will; but you MUST take the time to grieve. It is okay – and it is necessary!
You may have heard of the 5 Stages of Grief: however, these stages do not occur in a linear pattern.They are as individual as each person experiencing the loss. Each individual will go back and forth between stages, sometimes within the space of a few hours. IT IS NORMAL! Do NOT let anyone make you feel it isn’t. And it doesn’t mean you are crazy or have developed some mental illness. IT IS NORMAL!
If you allow yourself to grieve adequately,eventually you will heal and reach the stage where you can accept the loss. This does not mean you stop hurting. The pain will continue. You will continue to miss who/what you lost, but time does heal – and eventually you will come to a place where you can have a conversation where the tears become lesser and lesser – but it may never totally go away. And that’s okay too. It shows you have loved, you have lost, and you have survived.
Stay strong. You’re a fighter and you are stronger than you think!
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